Happy Easter, everyone. I hope you have enjoyed today. As I am a Christian, this day is the day Jesus rose from hell and the grave and took death on in a fight and won. It is the most important day to observe in Christianity, because without this event happening Christianity would be the greatest falsehood of all time. I know some are rolling their eyes at the idea of a holy man coming back from such a brutal death, and it was absolutely brutal. The last time I saw a documentary about the punishment of crucifixion, it detailed the newly discovered horrors of it with the latest science and technology. Apparently, with the way Jesus was crucified, he wouldn't have died by asphyxiation due to being stretched out with his arms out and high above him or blood loss. This documentary presented a case for Him and others who were crucified at the time dying because of the pain. Yes, the pain. The pain experienced during crucifixion would've been so great that the brain told the body to shut down and die so it wouldn't have to feel the pain anymore.
Learning this has only caused me to reflect even more on what I believe. If I believe what I believe, then my mistakes, my vices, my selfishness, and every way I have hurt others whether physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually put Jesus through that. My way of living is why he had to go through such terrible way to die. If He hadn't died then I could not have a friendship with God. Could you imagine putting a person, a stranger you had never seen, through something like that? Would you even wish this on your worst enemy? Would you want that person whom you literally hate most in the world to experience such an agony? Serious questions, I know.
There's this song by Dead Poetic called "Vices". It is a favorite of mine. In it, the songwriter goes through his various relationships. First, he sings of his relationship with the crowd and the fans that listen to the band. Second, it's the relationship with his mom. Third, it's about his lover and him. In all these, we see this common dynamic. The fans, the mother, and the lover have these expectations of him, expectations that only end up hurting him. He, too, has his own expectations, and it is those expectations of the fans, his mom, and his lover that only end up hurting himself and them too. In the song, he tells them this:
"Oh, but (child, mother, lover) .
I’ve got Vices like any other man.
Vices that you’re not used to.
Vices that’ll make you think less of me."
He recognized they could not love him fully. There was no one from any of them who could truly understand why he screws up the way he does. As much as forgiveness helps clear things up in life, we struggle to let go and forget. Perhaps all of us should slow down on the relational punishment we put on people because like the songwriter says, "I've got vices like any other man". He isn't the only one with moral failings, addictions, murders, hate, or selfishness.
At the end, he describes one last relationship:
"Feeling cold, feeling empty. I am low, unworthy.
Bleed the God. Bleed the blessing. Like a vulture feasting.
I’ll exist as if I don’t feel conviction of my ignorance to my perfect prison.
But I feel the stabs on my wrists and ankles every time I try...
To forget you. To forget you."
This is his relationship with God:
"Oh, but Jesus.
I’ve got Vices like any other man.
Vices that you’re so used to.
Vices that won’t make you think less of me."
Unlike everyone else, Jesus is the only person who accepts the songwriter as he is in appearance, action, or consequence. He has no expectations. All of us need that. All of us need someone to love us in spite of our crimes, our sickness, our ugliness, our poverty; our utter imperfection. But who will? Our fans and friends cannot. Our mothers, the foundations of our existence, cannot do it. The very people with whom we entangle our very beings and souls with cannot do this completely. Romantic loves fails us! How heartbreaking!
I won't know all of you personally. I will never meet everyone who reads this face to face even thoughI would love to. I do not know if you are atheist, agnostic, Christian, or any other of the myriad of beliefs that exist in our world today, but here is what I know: Jesus loves me. He loves me despite me! If you don't know Jesus, find someone who does. I If you can't find anyone, call Him out. Call Jesus out. See what happens. Ask him to forgive you for everything and believe that He is real. Believe that he did what he did for you. Say it out loud, "the Son of God died for me. Jesus died because he loved me. God, You want me, and You can love me". Then find others who believe and be part of this family God has made.
I'm sure my fellow believers are wondering when I am going to mention lifestyle changes. Well, fellow believers, let God change the individual so He can receive glory for it. If someone changes under their own strength, then where was God in it? What credit should He receive from it then? God receives glory for loving sinners as they are and leading them from there. That's what Jesus did before and after his death so let God work.
Everyone else, who might not believe, whether or not you like these words of mine, remember, we all need someone to love us despite what we've done or thought or wanted to do. We were born for this. Who do you have that can love you even though you are going through hell or creating hell for others. We will fail people and people will fail us. Jesus, though, is the only one who we cannot fail nor will he fail us.
With love,
Logan Miltimore
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